Supernatural humor: Daymares of Mr Vlad Dracula: Blood and other tests


Warning: Please do not dwell in between. Any line in and between may ruin the suspense.

He thought that this would not last. But it did. Why ? He had no answer and then he passed away, I mean lost consciousness, not died. For he had been dead for long time, I mean undead for long time, I mean a really long time. You know what I mean.


15th September, Doctor’s Office, London

“Mr. Vlad this happens for two reasons. One you have excess of something in your blood or lack of something in your blood.” The doctor explained.

“What do you mean doctor?” Questioned Mr. Vlad.

I mean that the weakness can be because of two reasons either you have deficiency of vitamins, minerals, RBC or WBC or excess of glucose, cholesterol etc.

“I suggest you a blood test.”

That was an irony for anytime if there was blood flow it was towards and not from.

“Do you know your blood group?” Said the doctor.

“It keeps changing.” Replied Mr. Vlad. “Sometimes its A, sometimes B, sometimes mix.”

“You are very funny?” remarked doctor. “We will check that. Okay tell me what happened?”

“Well I was chasing for the dinner in the night. And suddenly my eyes went blank. I saw the world spinning around and then I lost consciousness, then I saw my dinner waking me up.”

“You are damn too funny, Mr. Vlad.” laughing said the Doctor.”Okay I am not going to interrupt. So you did not have dinner that day, I mean that night.” Inquired the doctor.

“Of course, I did. It was just in front of me.” Replied Mr. Vlad.

“Great. What is your staple diet.”

“Mostly liquid.”

“Can you be more specific?”

“Red liquid.”

“A little more.”

“Warm red liquid.”

“Like red wine?”

“Yes. Like red wine but thicker and hotter and not in a wine glass and direct from the source.

“Mr Vlad are you going to let me help understand the problem completely or not?” The doctor grew little frustrated.

He thought for some seconds, then replied “Do you want me to demonstrate it?”

“No, I don’t” The doctor denied.

“There may be a deficiency of vitamins, may be vitamin D. Do you have any idea how many people are suffering from the lack of Vitamin D.

“No clue.”

“Almost 70% and do you know why?”

“Why.” He asked surprisingly.

“Because now a days people don’t go in the sun. Do you go in the sun Mr. Vlad?” The doctor asked.

“Well I went once, though unwillingly and I did not like the feel of it.” It looked the doctor touched some pain points.

“That is the problem. You know same no of people are also suffering from tooth decay. The doctor threw some additional information. “But you seem to have very sound teeth.”

“I take good care of my teeth. They keep me in business.” Mr. Vlad said rubbing his shiny and unblemished teeth.

“Where are you from Mr. Vlad?

“From Romania.”

“O wow, beautiful country but it was in the news recently for the wrong reasons. I have heard the monster has come back.”

“Which monster?” Mr. Vlad showed some remarkable patience.

“The blood drinking monster.” Whispered doctor in his ears.

“You are a man of science. Do you believe in these mambo jumbo?”

“Well I did not until I met one odd Mr. Reinfield in a mental asylum owned by my friend.”

“And now you believe in vampires”

“I don’t know. I would like to believe in the Legend of vampires. But what I have come to know that vampirism is actual clinically curable problem, but then again who knows the truth.” The doctor explained. “I was in India and I heard many fantastic stories which are too amazing for their own reliability . Have you heard about the were tigers?” The doctor added further.

“You mean like ware-wolves” Asked Mr. Vlad.

“Yes exactly ware-wolves but this time they are tigers.” The doctor elaborated. “I heard about snakes that were living for thousands of years and could transformed themselves into people. Like real people but are exposed when seen in mirror for the cast no shadows or reflections.”

“Interesting” said Mr Vlad changing the angle of his seat so that the doctor could not see his not-reflection.

“And of course you don’t believe in these stories either.”  Mr. Vlad tried to be sure.

“I don’t know again. There is nothing impossible in this universe sir. Everything we can think of has happened, happening and will happen. This is how universe works.” Philosophically said the doctor. “But coming to our point, I believe that I can cure vampirism or better I can harness it..”

“And how? ” Mr. Vlad suspicious of Doctor.

“That I cannot tell you. This is my secret.” The doctor sad.

“For a man of science, you seem to posses a lot of weird knowledge and know more about these things than you care to admit Doctor.”

“Exactly, this keeps me in business.” The doctor flashed a mysterious smile.

“You are very interesting man Doctor. You remind me of my old colleague.” Said Mr Vlad


“A girl named Catherine. We studied in the same university. She also kept secrets.” Mr. Vlad dwelled into the past.


“Because she thought that she was very smart but I taught her a lesson. ( He lied this time too, we know he didn’t or we will know in sometimes that he could not). Okay, let me ask you a question. Do you know how many liters blood is there in one person?”

“Around 6 liters.” The doctor mumbled.

“You see, that’s why I get hungry on 7th Day. And today is your lucky day.”

“What?” The doctor exclaimed.

“You know the full name of the blood drinking monster? “Mr. Vlad asked.

“No?” The doctor said.

“Bond”. No, I mean “Dracula, Count Vlad Dracula.” Whispered the true dark knight.

Doctor stood there insensate and his whole body turned white like the RBCs from his blood had been extracted and only WBCs were left.

“Don’t kill me, don’t kill me, no no no no no no no no.” The doctor pleaded.

“I am not going to kill you, didn’t you hear, I said luck day. I had plans for you but now I have better plans.” Mr. Vlad said with an air of authority in his voice.

“What plans?” The doctor still in shock.

“You will come to know. First tell me where my slave Reinfield is now?” questioned Mr. Vlad.

“You are a vampire Sir! You can use telepathy.” The doctor suggested.

“Do you think I am stupid. I have lost many powers lately and telepathy is one of them. But one power is intact, transformation, transformation of my victims.” Mr. Vlad said evilly and saying this, he went straight to Doctor and grabbed him. The Doctor struggled.

“O my God, I mean O my Devil! You seem to be a very strong man.”

“I was in Army”. Shouted the doctor.

“A soldier after a long time.” And sank his teeth into Doctor’s flesh.

The Doctor fell unconscious.


30th September, Morning, Doctor’s office, London

“What happened yesterday?”The helper asked the doctor.

“I can’t remember. There are just hazy memories. What the hell, what happened to me?” The doctor kept touching his neck.

“I don’t know either? But you were found in unconscious state in your office last night.” Replied the helper.

“I can’t make any sense of it.” The doctor said confused.

“No worry. You just take rest. Everything will be alright.” The helper replied rubbing his shiny and unblemished teeth.

It is better I get my supply from Doctor’s office until I know what is happening with me.


Same day, Morning, London

A man paced up in his house worried. It’s been 15 days since he heard of his friend and colleague and he had no information about him. That was particularly odd as he was the one most sought after person for any kind of information which included missing persons.

He was arguably the second best mind of the Europe after Detective Helsing or may the third after Detective Helsing and Dr.Moriarty in that order.

“I need to go the unarguably the most intelligent mind in the world.” He thought to himself.


Same day, Afternoon, unknown place in India

“Mr. Dabral. Your disciple homes is on line.” The assistant handed over the mobile to Mr. Dabral.

“Extraordinary case it should be, Otherwise you wouldn’t have called.” Said Mr. Dabral.

“Indeed Sir, Your faculties are most urgently required, here in London.” Requested Homes.

“But my passport has expired and you know how difficult it is to get a Visa for UK.” Mr. Dabral informed him.

“We have bigger issues to deal with Sir, I will arrange for both.” Said Mr. Homes.

“London, It is then.” Said Mr. Dabral disconnecting the line.


-To Be continued


-Image courtesy-


The idea of this story originated when I was reading “Vampire Doctor ” and ” The Visit” by our friend, fellow blogger and talented “Joanne Fisher”.

To follow her please check her blog


7 thoughts on “Supernatural humor: Daymares of Mr Vlad Dracula: Blood and other tests”

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